Article on Delbert Reed

British Comedy

As an American Country Western Star once said, “I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.” But now I am wondering if that statement really fits me. I mean I still love reading Douglas Adams, (even his non-fiction is hilarious.) I still enjoy a rerun of Are You Being Served and Absolutely Fabulous. While watching the new series of Top Gear I find myself rolling on the ground laughing my fat... well lets just say I truly enjoy watching it.





But, I find myself at odds with the new British invasion. Namely Russell Brand, the man who described himself as resembling "an S&M Willy Wonka” A man with such a uniquely different point of view and style, of well, everything!?!





At first glance I think he is an exhibitionist and for the most part I despise these types of people. This is partially because it is plain annoying to all, but mostly because most of the time they are far more successful than myself. I tried to hire my own paparazzi - it's really not as easy as one would think. After dwelling on my disinterest in Mr. Brand I found myself focusing on another point, which I find unacceptable. His delivery! This is where I lose most people, because he follows a style not uncommon in British Comedy. But I believe there is a difference and the idea came to me while talking to a coworker today about his license plate (another story for another day) – The idea pertains to the crafty art of being subtly obscene.



I have to say that British Comedy is absolutely brilliant at this. The way puns are delivered with a straight face in a suit and tie. The way the line smoothly rolls off the tongue and you’re given only enough time to catch your breath and then another far more spectacular line is heaved at you with clock like precision.



Mr. Brand lacks this skill. He has the point of view. He has the topics. He has a look – I leave that alone. NO I WILL NOT! He has ruined the look. Stomped on it smeared mud and mascara all over it and called it – Good, and it is just not… Good! But more than that, he needs to work on his delivery, will he work on it? No! Why? Because! Mr. Brand is trying to reinvent the, “knickers waving on the flag pole.”



I would like to say good bye to Mr. Brand, but I’m afraid the whole population of the world has lost their minds and he is the new favored British Comedy invasion.



And as a talking ape once said “Oh shit their goes the planet!”

Trick or Treat

One day a year we all get to be ourselves. All hallows eve - Halloween! You see everyone in there true form from goblins to preincesses and super heros to naughty nurses. Many see this as yet another slippery slope leading our society towrards the devil's pit. All I say is pass me a pint you foul smelling goul!

SUV for Peanuts

That's right I said it! I want an SUV and I am willing to only pay with Peanuts. If you act fast, the package may still be 3/4 full. Right now I have only grabbed a handful but I will wait 5 minutes before I grab another handful. Okay maybe two minutes. They are roasted and salted peanuts, very tasty and for the right SUV I would be willing to part with them. So act fast and contact me through this site or you can contact me at: http://www.visionsoftheunknown.com/

Poetry

Sneaky Picture

Like a tsunami washing over the shores
The morning sun washes over my pores
Under the covers I reach for my wife
Feeling nothing, I swung like a knife

Where could she be? I ask myself
I strain my eyes to read the clock on the shelf
Eleven o’clock I overslept again
Even though it is the weekend

I pull the covers back and stagger from bed
Yawning involuntarily and scratching my head
I make my way through the hall and down the stairs
That’s when I see them reclining on chairs

My wife is stretched out with my child
So gently they rock like one compiled
Carefully I move to not make a sound
Swinging my head I look all around

In the corner I spy my camera laying
Not to wake them, I start my praying
Turning I focus and get a good angle
Of a daughter and mother so entangled

The flash goes off, their eyes open wide
My daughters arm swings up trying to hide
I have my sneaky picture, she is too late
I smile to myself because it turned out great

Original work of:

Jason E. Lee

Warning - Life changing event!

Yes, it has happened again!

It seems every day is filled with new excitement. But, every once in a while something happens that blows the shoes right off your feet, and today for me it was my beautiful 2 month old daughter smiling, at the sound of my voice.

Yes, you heard me.

I walked in to say hello to my baby girl and with the poise of an adolescent, she turned her head, looked me dead in the eye and gave me the single most brilliant, though toothless, smile I have ever seen. It literally took my breath away.

What could I say or do at a time like that?

I did the only thing that came to mind. Wrapped my enormous self around her and gave her the softest bear hug I could.

A few hours later my wife was finally able to pry her from my grip.

God I love that girl!

GOD

If you are out there, Thank you, and What the F**K?